The ball ball or the testicle festival and why Stan Fletcher is the world's greatest philosopher...

Well folks, Texas may be full of bull caca, but Montana has some Steer balls! Rock Creek Lodge outside of Clinton is home to the annual Testicle Festival and if you missed it, you're nuts!

Here's how to make your tasty Calf Testicles (Bull Testicles are too tough) -

Peel the membrane off of the calf testicles(about two pounds), marinate them in a couple of cups of beer for a couple of hours or so. Cut into slices for frying.

Mix up a cup of milk with an egg or two for the wash.

Mix up some flour (1 1/2 cups), salt, pepper and a bit of yellow cornmeal (1/4 cup)

Dredge the ball slices in the flour mix, then dip into the egg wash, then back into the flour mix.

Fry the mountain oysters in hot oil (375°F) to cover. They will float and be a nice crispy golden brown when done. Remove from oil and drain on paper towels. Keep going until all of the testicles have been fried. Serve with hot sauce!

At the Montana Rock Creek Lodge Testicle Festival about two and a half tons of bull testicles are consumed yearly! It is a real adults only festival featuring balls to the wall fun.

Stan Fletcher wonders about a lot of things. He is constantly thinking about dead kittens and how they got that way. Sometimes he dreams of becoming a cantaloupe. His kitchen appliances talk to him constantly. They say things that only Stan can understand because he is such a deep thinking philosopher. He also sponsors funny hub contests like this one.

There are times when he is psychically linked to the vegetables in his kitchen appliances and in his garden (where the dead kittens play). He knows right away whenever a turnip needs help or a zucchini is about to commit suicide.

His basement dwelling demon possessed chickens consult Stan frequently about whether the demons are actually "good" or "bad" demons. Dr. Fletcher PhD must figure these things out. Sometimes the goats come over to help out and munch on the tin cans that Stan has thrown at his girl friend when she blames him for saying things like, "I Could Have Sworn I Flushed That" or "Who Farted? I Really Want to Know", when he knows deep down that no one else could have done it.

At times Stan Fletcher dreams of committing the perfect crime like how to rob 7-11 stores and how to have fun with pipe bombs. He is not above using condiments in inappropriate ways to entice hamsters to work like tiny horses and smuggle contraband in or out of a crime scene.

Although Mr. Fletcher constantly encounters ghosts that inhabit his toilet, he actually secretly wishes he were a turtle so that his philosophical meanderings would last longer and he could really figure out if the ghost was just having him on or was serious about creative uses for liver and other organ meats.

In order to understand mankind, philosophically of course, Stan has stooped to cross dressing on Thanksgiving to observe the reactions of his family and friends as they sit around on turkey day to watch all global sports super bowls that use dead kittens as mascots or actual Jai-alai equipment. If the dead kittens don't survive, or if Stan's family actually looks over at Stan in his pink kimono, it will certainly be a great time to barf all over great Aunt Sally's bunions, or so she has been told.

Occasionally, Stan must diet to shed a few unwanted pounds before he goes running off to climb mountains. Therefore, he and his very supportive girl friend contemplate the cat food diet.

"It has it's advantages over other diets", he explains over a crunchy bowl of Meow Mix. "It's very flavorful and can be served in those little crystal dishes!"

Yes, philosophy is Stan Fletcher's strong suit. He wears it while writing more and more hubs on how to craft a dynamite profile that everyone will be in awe of and will click on the "follow Stan Fletcher" icon. He also collects "funnys". Conan O'Brien is not worthy.

Here is a secret that I probably should not reveal in a public hub, but Stan is planning to pop the big question on his girlfriend at the next Rock Creek Lodge Testicle Festival. It's a ballsy move that only the world's greatest philosopher could come up with!