I Survived Armageddon, the end of the world, the rapture, the end times, judgement day and the wrath of God!

By now everyone not living under a rock knows about Harold Camping and his radio show prediction that the rapture will have taken place on May 21, 2011. This is not the first time Camping has predicted the end of the world either. He also claimed we would all be doomed in September of 1994.

I think we can pretty much chalk this one up as just another religious nut case predicting Armageddon for the Christian "elite". Perhaps we should also discount the whole Family Radio Christian Network. as once again the religionists have spouted off about what they think God will do on any given day. Someone should explain to them that what they believe in has nothing to do with the real universe!

Ronald Weinland wrote a book stating that "millions of people would die" between 2006 and 2008. He claimed to be another end time prophet of God. Looks like we all survived that Armageddon as easily as we survived the latest doomsday prediction.

Isn't is amusing to all that the "wrath of God" is always directed at whoever or whatever is the current fashionable topic of the Christian God. No other gods seem to have such a problem with people of the planet. Weinland's beef seems to have been political.

Of course, the Christian god is not the only predictor of global doom. There are other nut cases running around that think metaphysical or mystical or astronomical events will cause the planet to perish.

5/5/2000 was supposed to be the date that planets aligned in such a way as to cause the Ice shelf to expand and cover the earth encasing us all in an icy death. Really? Like mankind wouldn't start crushing the ice and selling snow cones to survive.

Well, this one had a religious as well as a secular base for why we should all perish. Computers would crash because they would have no idea what day it was! Early programmers neglected to leave digital space for the four part year markers. Yikes! How would we survive? Computers everywhere would crash or at least think the year was "00" instead of "99". Of course, the simple solution was to add the place holders for the 19 and 20 so the computers would know we went from 1999 to the year 2000. Saved by a computer update/upgrade! The world goes on.

The religions aspect of that year was a bit more intense. Most Christians decided that 2000 A.D. was the perfect time for the second coming of Jesus. It was a nice even number and sounded good. Preachers had no problem adding the rapture to the list of things that would occur in the 21st Century after the tortuous death of the "savior". Perhaps he had suffered long enough and was now about to call forth the "righteous" and have them ascend into the clouds. The year 2000 touched off lots of Armageddon stories. As usual, all fictional based and we survived.

Well, I'm not keeping score, but it seems like of all the end time predictions, Nostradamus wins in the prediction category. This Armageddon date was determined by the quatrain containing the scary metaphysical vision:

"The year 1999, seventh month / From the sky will come great king of terror."

This verse definitely predicted the exact month and year of "getting your act together and becoming a supplicant for Jesus! Why Jesus is the "great king of terror" is beyond me. My impression was that he loved us and would never harm a hair on the head of even a tadpole. Someday, I hope the Christians figure out if Jesus was "good" or "the great king of terror". Which is it guys?

Needless to say, this put a big dent in the reliability of the predictions of Nostradamus.

When comet Hale-Bop appeared in 1997, I was down in Mexico on a vacation. I stood on the beach and enjoyed the heavenly show. Little did I know that alien spacecraft (carrying Jesus, I suppose) were hidden in the tail of the comet.

Thirty nine of the Heaven's Gate cult members committed suicide in order to ascend to the heavens and get aboard the spaceship. I'm still shaking my head over this one. There were others that rushed to jump on that band wagon too. It seems that every time a really good comet comes along, it's a prediction of the end of the world. Like when Halley's comet shows up every 75 years.

When such a well known evangelist (MC/Visa accepted) as Pat Robertson predicts the end times, you gotta believe him, right? It's even possible to "buy" a ticket to heaven if you join the 700 club and become a devout Christian.

It's very strange that Mr. Robertson bid for a presidential nomination in 1988. Why would he want to be president of a doomed society? Since his Armageddon prophecy didn't pan out, I guess he thought he would try to gain access to the doomsday button on his own. Scary, isn't it?

The Mayan Calendar will end its 5,128 year cycle on December 21. 2012 during the winter solstice. Cosmophobics (Cosmophobia - fear of the end times) are once again planning another doomsday.

The Mayan Calendar will start over again this December after the spectacular astronomical event caused by the eclipse of the center of the dark rift of the Milky Way galaxy by our sun. The mystical Maya predicted this over 5,000 years ago. Sounds like a real big New Year's party to me!

Everybody listen up! I'm going to clue you in.

The world is never going to end. There is no angry, evil King in the sky that will appear one day to pass judgement on the earth. It's all myth and superstition. Grow up.

All that exists has always existed and always will. Matter can not be created or destroyed. It can only change in appearance.

With that being said, we will definitely change as our sun burns itself out one day. Let's say in , oh, about 3 Billion years!