How to be an Ambassador for the United Nations to greet and welcome alien visitors from space

Recently, it was reported that a Mrs. Mazlan Othman, a Malaysian astrophysicist was appointed to this prestigious post at Unoosa. The proposal for Alien Life Ambassador has been prompted by the recent discovery of hundreds of planets orbiting other stars, which are thought to make the discovery of extraterrestrial life more probable than ever before. Carl Sagan may have been right!

So, if an alien happens to land in your back yard, you now know who to direct him, her, or it to. Mrs. Othman hopes to formalize a treaty for the ethical treatment of aliens. She says, “The continued search for extraterrestrial communication, by several entities, sustains the hope that some day human kind will receive signals from extraterrestrials.”

Mrs. Othman believes the United Nations is the perfect place for just such an office. She is the perfect “take me to your leader” person.

FoxNews, on the other hand, also reported that the U.N. denied that such a post will be filled by Mrs. Othman or anyone else for that matter.

There is an existing treaty for the purpose of greeting alien extra-terrestrials. It is the Outer Space Treaty drafted in 1967, which Unoosa oversees. The treaty contains an agreement for UN members to protect Earth against contamination by alien species by “sterilizing” them. Mrs. Othman disagrees and hopes to draft a more humane approach to an alien visitation.

Professor Stephen Hawking warns that alien interlopers should be treated with caution. He said, “I imagine they might exist in massive ships, having used up all the resources from their home planet. The outcome for us would be much as when Christopher Columbus first landed in America, which didn’t turn out very well for the Native Americans.”

Professor Carl Sagan’s view on approaching alien life forms was focused on communication. He assembled the first physical message that was sent into space: a gold-anodized plaque, attached to the space probe Pioneer 10, launched in 1972. Pioneer 11, also carrying another copy of the plaque, launched the following year. Sagan also regarded the SETI program (Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence) to be a valuable asset toward reaching out to extraterrestrials.

I would imagine that empathy with other species might be a good requirement for ambassadors to alien civilizations. Someone that can “talk to the animals” should be in the lead for an appointment to Unoosa. Perhaps the dog or horse whisperer could work with Mrs. Othman as her assistants.

An alien visitor ambassador must keep the best interests of the Earth in mind.

Ambassadors are responsible for understanding key issues that affect our world.

They must gather facts and figures and report back to the U.N. so that a consensus can be reached on how to deal with the needs of both alien life and terrestrial life.

Ambassadors must be diplomatic and sensitive to other worldly views and must be non-judgmental.

The most important skills required would be experience in government and politics and have an education background at the bachelor’s level (minimum) to the graduate level (preferred).

Ambassadors must keep up with current events at all times. Current policy knowledge is also required.

An Ambassador must be able to build solid and agreeable relationships with both foreign and domestic political leaders.

Being a linguist would be beneficial as would a great deal of cultural studies.

Global travel, and perhaps intergalactic travel, will be involved, so the Ambassador for Outer Space Affairs would have to be physically capable of extended travel experiences in strange lands and cultures.

Good mediation skills would be required.

And suppose the aliens don’t like the way we smell or something? An ambassador would have to improvise and learn not to be offensive in any way.

The Unoosa Ambassador will most likely be working from a plush office at U.N. headquarters at a regular 9 to 5 sort of job. That is until the space aliens land. Then he or she is going to have to have to be on call 24/7/365 and may have to travel to wherever the aliens are. He or she will most likely have to have some hazardous material training as I am guessing the aliens will be segregated until they can be shown to be harmless to humans and the biological sphere in which we live.

According to the college cited above – the typical U.N. Ambassador earns about $150,000 or so per annum. Nice work if you can get it! But that’s not all! Ambassadors are frequently on the receiving end of many gifts and samples. They can also write off any gifts and samples that they give to others. They are typically invited to all of the great parties and every country finds it a distinct benefit to be especially nice to ambassadors and will bend over backwards to avoid “international scenes”.

Imagine being the go-between of alien life forms and our world! What a huge responsibility. Fame would follow quickly and, I’m sure, fortune. Negotiating for all of the alien technology would require thousands of hours of work. Every scientist in the world would be at your door. It would be an immense job!

Perhaps the aliens will bring the secret to a long and possibly eternal life span! After all, they have to travel incredible distances just to get here. They would have to have solved either hibernation issues or have learned to eliminate cellular degeneration.

Hopefully, the aliens did not previously visit our Earth and plant the seeds for humans to evolve. In which case, they might be back to harvest their crop. The aliens landing in Asia might be hungry for a little Chinese Take Out (this is a joke, people).