Calling all men - How much would you charge to rent your services?
74Business plan summary:
Mr. Rental strives to be a company that hires men between the ages of 21 and 100+ for the purpose of rendering manly type services to single women (or perhaps married women), who, through no fault of their own, wish to rent a man for various purposes that cannot be remedied without the presence of a hired man.
There are thousands, perhaps millions of single women who are or are about to be reduced to the horror and destructive presence of CATS (shudder) simply because they do not have a man around the house for the necessary 2 or 3 hours a week when such manly presence is needed to do the few odd jobs that single women cannot or will not do.
Are you in danger of being a cat lady?
- I'm 35 and Single. Is It Time to Buy a Cat?
Everyone knows if you are a single woman in your 30s, you should own a cat. If you are in your mid-30s and still don't have a cat, it is time to face your civic duty and become a cat owner.
Mr. Hot Date Eligible
Mr. Hot Date - Continued...
- Mathew McConnaghy
- Matt Damon
- Tim McGraw
- Charlie Sheen
- Taylor Laughtner
- Barak Obama
Wanted:
Mr. Rental is seeking men, preferably young, handsome and strong, to perform duties as required by the female of our species. Experience is not required, but having a loving mother that raised you correctly is a plus.
Duties include, but are not limited to:
- Mr. Sensitive - must have a large shoulder to cry on and be overly sympathetic to phrases like, "My jeans don't fit anymore!" or "My ex is SOOOO stupid!" or "My boss is such a bitch!" and "Will you watch Eat, Pray Love with me?"
- Mr. Nice Guy - must bring flowers with every assignment and be willing to tidy up the house. Must be willing to cook, clean and take out the garbage without grumbling. Must never utter a single disparaging word. Must always compliment the woman and be willing and able to take her out to dinner or an event. This means that you will have to give up any and all TV shows, including sports like the Super Bowl.
- Mr. Pretense - Requirements include: fancy dresser, drives a nice clean car, looks like a man that will fit in with the woman's family. This Mr. Rental will be playing the role of a loving boyfriend that may someday pop the question. It is only for show and Mr. Pretense must be willing to answer all questions about becoming a devoted, wealthy and loyal husband "some day". Bonus bucks if the family actually likes you!
- Mr. Kill a bug - Must have large feet and quick reflexes. Must be available almost instantly whenever a spider, roach or imaginary bug is discovered. Must be willing to console ladies with phobias to insects at all hours of the day and night. It is possible that the hiree will request that you hang around in case another bug decides to wander in. You will be compensated for your time.
- Mr. Repair a leak - When giggling the toilet just doesn't work, a single lady needs to hire a man to repair the thing-a-ma-jig that controls the toilet flushing apparatus. Mr. Repair a leak will obtain more clients and command higher rental fees if he also knows how to change light bulbs, find jewelry that has been dropped down drains or in other inaccessible dark places and knows how to clean an oven.
- Mr. Car Washer - Ladies cars get dirty and there is only one way to get them thoroughly clean, that's right, hire a man. Men love cars, men love to clean cars. They call it detailing. So if you are detail oriented and like to clean cars, this is the job for you.
- Mr. Hot Date - No CAT can substitute for this rental. Mr. Hot Date is required to be HOT! Guys that do not resemble George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Dwayne Johnson, Liam Neeson, Josh Duhamel, Orlando Bloom, Jake Gyllenhaal, Bradley Cooper, Robert Downey Jr., Johnny Depp, Sean Connery, (or anyone who has played Agent 007), Michael C. Hall, David Beckham, Gerard Butler, Alex O'Loughlin, Jason Statham, Boris Kodjoe, Jared Leto, Christian Bale, Robert Pattinson, Justin Timberlake, Shemar Moore, Hugh Jackman, Vin Diesel, Will Smith, Leonardo DiCaprio or Antonio Banderas need not apply. Must work for tips only!
- Mr. Entertainment - Sometimes a lady requires a man for entertainment purposes. Must have an exceedingly gifted sense of humor. Must love women of all ages, shapes, sizes and socio-economic groups. Mr Entertainment will never be subject to layoffs. Work all the hours you can stand.
- Mr. Massage Therapist - Must be registered and a graduate of a fully qualified school of massage. Must be professional in manner and have the hands of a god. Must be willing to work quietly and adoringly to maintain a lady's sore and tense muscular makeup. Happy endings are negotiable.
- Mr. Taxi - This rental must be willing to perform personalized taxi services above and beyond what a normal taxi driver is willing to do. You will not only have to carry all heavy items to and from cars, you will be asked to be patient and have an exemplary driving record. You can never scream or have road rage. If so, you will be fired on the spot and will have to pay psychological damages to the woman who is telling you where to go and how to get there. You are also not allowed to get lost or be late.
Mr. Rental Demo Video
Now what to charge for Mr. Rental?
Please answer in the comments:
Women : How much would you pay per hour?
Men : How much you charge per hour? Please specify which Mr. Rental you qualify for and why.
Mr. Rental survey...
Which Mr. Rental do you need to hire?
See results without votingvote upvote downshareprintflag
- Useful (6)
- Funny (13)
- Awesome (8)
- Beautiful (3)
- Interesting (10)
Comments - What's the going rate and need for rent a man?Loading...
I'll take all of them :)
I will give ya 2 bucks for the dancing queen in the video! LOL Brilliant hub - you are too much!
I did vote for the Kill a bug guy - because Dave gets so mad when I make him run upstairs to do that. I can't believe he would expect ME to do that! lol
LOL - this is too funny. My oh my! How does one decide?!
I think I'll keep my hubby, but it sure is fun to window shop! :)
food for thought !
Ok, why hasn't anyone voted this hub 'funny'? Do ya'll think it's a viable business idea?
a middle aged man, (mature, balanced)
poet (sensitive)
theater actor (mr pretence)
soft spoken (nice guy)
lover of cleanliness (car washer,house tidier)
engineer by training (leak fixer -0f taps of course)
gym toned body ( massagist,hot date)
good conversationalist ( entertaining)
owner of a gas station (taxi etc etc)
and with a sense of humour (level 7 certified)
is willing to work for a dollar an hour plus 11 per cent service tax,2.3 % transaction tax and 66.33 % non curvy tax.(women with the right curves get all taxes waived)
HOWEVER
for risking staying over at the woman's place (and the attendant risks with the wife) the charges will be 250 dollars a bug killed.(if this is all she wants the man to do)
what a blooody waste of talent!!! this talented man(every woman's dream)goes into a ladies bedroom and all night just sits up killing bugs!!!!!! you will have to pay heavy for that lady.
Yes, this is the best idea ever! I could use Mr. Taxi on Saturday. I need to renew my license, but don't have a car (how ironic!) and the motor vehicle admin office is not in a great location. I need Mr. Taxi to get me there and possibly fight off scary people that may approach me. Voted up and awesome!!!
Neelesh, I am rolling on the floor laughing my butt off! You are hired, my man. I get 50% for being your manager.
Well, JIAB, looks like we need to go into business. Anyone want to venture capitalize us?
Love this! Nice to see you took an idea and ran with it! I will take one of each Mr. Rental, but is there a discount for booking overnight, or is it simply by the hour? Does Mr. Sensitive come with a cuddling clause? Great hub!
very unique and interesting hub austinstar.
How did I forget the cuddling clause? I shall add it post haste.
Since I'm going to maintain that single women don't want to have to deal with cleaning out the cat litter, er, cleaning up after men - like putting the seat down, picking up undies with skid marks or dealing with spilled beer and food on the sofa, I will insist on hourly fees. We don't want the single ladies to have to deal with the minuses of having a rental man actually over stay his welcome.
Hi Austinstar, You really got me by surprise your article took a turn. I thought you were writing about an open-ended question asking a fellow male audience how much they thought their services were worth. Instead you went in a totally different direction. I found it creatively written, and funny also voted funny.
But it is an open-ended question asking male readers to give me some idea of what they would charge to perform these services!
I'm trying to start a new business here. This is called market research. Ok, so I got stuck on the Mr. Hot Date, but really, single women need men to contract for these jobs! If guys can pimp out women, why can't I rent out men? (and get a piece of the action)
Who voted for "other" and what did you have in mind?
Austinstar...
As this writing thing does not seem to be paying off like I had planned...you know...with money...I would like to submit an application.
I think I would do well as Mr. Entertainment or Mr. Massage Guy. Conversely...I would like to HIRE a guy to be Kill a Bug Guy...I hate having to stop a massage to kill a bug. I also hate bugs.
Awesome article!
Thomas
The beauty of being a Mr. Rental is that you can pretty much set your own hours and fees. This would be a Temp agency that I would manage, you know, to free up the employees for more important assignments.
Most bugs I can handle, but I definitely need a rental guy to kill scorpions for me. I HATE scorpions.
I hope no cats or spiders are killed or injured as a result of your very funny article.
I would like to apply for your agency. It might be a lot of fun, but I won't kill bugs. I like them.
I shall have to draw up some kind of working contract.
You won't even kill scorpions? Creepiest bug on the planet.
ahah I loved this! it was quite entertaining and funny. A few of those was a bit...extreme lol and no one guy could definitely fit all of them there is none that exists! at least not in the real world lol. if only! haha oh and I am a single 24 year old and I already have a cat! Oh no's! lol great hub!
Voted up and awesome! I voted for the Mr. Repair a Leak because my husband is about as handy as Paris Hilton with a power tool.
I could see this business plan becoming a franchise very quickly! I voted funny!:)
As a semi-pro househusband I can assure you that there is not enough money on the planet that would have me offer my services...to anyone but She-Who-Is-Adored, that is.
My going rate is a cuddle per day, which is great and everything, but with tax time fast approaching, I'm a bit worried about how I'm going to pay the government...
Cats are a bad idea. They are clean. Everything around them is not...
Chris
Awwww, Chris - a cuddle per day. I'll double your fee to come work for me! You nailed it on the cats thing.
Sunshine - what a great idea. I wouldn't have to do anything except sell franchises! How much do you think I could get?
Jennifer - Paris Hilton with a power tool! OMG! I know the feeling. My husband needs Mr. Taxi just to drive him to the car out in the driveway. He gets lost on those circle rounds and definitely will NOT ask for directions.
This is an interesting concept. I am afraid I don't qualify. I am washed up, lazy and my car got repoed.
WD, perhaps you should hire Ms. Rental!
I'm broke, too.
TOO funny! I have a husband and I'd STILL like to rent Mr Kill-a-Bug if I could :D My husband just thinks its funny to watch me freak out over the spider in the corner ahahha Great Hub!!!
Know I understand why Jamaican men are so popular with American women. We'll do all of this for free and even build a little hut on the beach.
Why am I reading this!?
Bob
I'm moving to Jamaica then :-)
Hmm.. and I've been doing all this and more for free for almost 45 years? I'm sending this to my wife!
Well, PC, that's the benefits of being married!
I really think this is a great business idea! In Sweden it would be called household services which is a really good deal. If we buy a service like this from someone, the state pays half the cost! But for now, it is mostly used for services like cleaning, building and such and no one have thought of this type of services. So you should considering to start your business here:)) Or may I steal the idea? But then I will need a few men.....
Tina
Boy, do we have a lot in common, Lela. I'm stuck on Mr. Hot Date, too. Especially if he can morph into Mr. Entertainment, too, if you know what I mean. :)
Thoughtforce, if things don't work out in Jamaica, I'll go to Sweden next. Go ahead and get the ball rolling as it were.
drbj, We are each one side of the same coin I think!
listen austin,where do i send the 50%.I am so swamped with work I cannot tell you.I killed 6 bugs at this ladies place last night and when i handed over the 1500 dollars to my wife telling this was my pay for working at the ladies' all night she exclaimed"what an idiot the lady is, based on your usual performance at home i wouldn't pay you 10.what a despo the lady must be" not knowing i had made the amount killing bugs!!!!
Neelesh - Wow, I'm making money already! You can send it to my PayPal account! Your wife gets to keep the other half. I'll have to set you up with another assignment right away!
BOB! LOL LOL -- hilarious comments!
I see a guy who kills bugs is gonna be a hit!!
Wow, it sounds like I could rent out hubby for quite a profit! He's really good at killing bugs and repairing leaks! Maybe I could trade some of those services for a Mr. Taxi - mine gets pretty upset when I tell him where to go and how to get there! LOL... Love the hub, and the idea!
I know! We married women are sitting on a Gold Mine! Right?
money sent but please make sure that the next assignment (read that as assignation)is not only for killing bugs in the ladies bedroom all night.it can get quite bugging just sitting there killing bugs and hearing madam snore.
as it is i make no money for all the hard work -half goes to you and half to my wife- i might as well have some fun!
Beautiful women get all this for free
Bob
Oh, Bob - Are you saying that it is only ugly women that have to rent a man?
Neelesh - You work so hard! I'm giving you a raise!
are there ugly women? never met one.
Thank you, Neelesh!
why are you speaking on behalf of the ugly women? you bob will attend to for free.
(just buttering the boss ok- nothing personal)
Awesome concept! Very funny but feasible. I love the outside the box thinking. And your rental equipment maintains themselves or they may not get anymore work. High profit margin business too!
Wise you are, Danny!
I don't think I'd be good at that business....I could well be a manslut - but I've gotten older and my tastes and tolerances of some things have changed.
Still, for the right female and should I be in the right frame of mind...this sort of service could definitely be made available!!! (...but whether or not I'd ever get any takers...is another thing!)
I'm sure you would do well as Mr. Kill-a-bug, Wesman :-)
YEP!!! That and Mr. "snake be gone!" would do well for me!!!!
OMG...this is so funny....You have a great idea here, Austinstar. A young entrepreneur, I see.
Would you be the female counterpart to a "pimp?" Really, I hope these men must report to you before and after each appointment....and hand over your share of the money! It's only fair.
Wesman, you sly little bachelor, must you ALWAYS be singing your mantra as you head for the bedroom. Or is it a flute you play as the trail of ladies follow along behind you??
Austinstar....don't even think about adding "snake be gone" to the list of services. It will only encourage Wes!!
LOL! I'm stuck on my Irish girl...she's not used to snakes for the obvious reasons, so I'm going to play that one UP UP UP!!!!!!!!!!!
How much for all of them?! I am scrabbling about in my purse looking for some money, how do I hire? haha! love it, and the video was hilarious too! votes all the way! Oh and don't forget Ian Somerhalder from the Vampire Diaries! Ummm!
Yes, My company would pimp out all these guys and I would get a huge cut (for all the overhead you know).
O O
l
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This is soooo funny. I am good at killing bugs exuberantly enough to spot the wall. Leaky faucets stop me cold, but I can carry on a pretty good conversation about literary matters and West Texas in the fifties, not to mention the amount of rain in Oregon. Am tall enough to reach things on high shelves, but don't ask me to paint. Probably good for special circumstances only.
What a great idea you had here for a Hub!
Thanks xstatic! If you've lived in West Texas, I can put you down as an expert scorpion killer. I definitely need one of those! How are you with fleas?
I hope you are being paid well for your services.
LucidDreams Level 4 Commenter 3 months ago
When I have the time I would be more then happy to help women out for free....Sometimes it is very nice to just hold a conversation with those of the opposite sex and get to know eachother with no strings. Even as in my case, I am already in a commited relationship. It can still be a time for both that is enjoyable and worthwhile!